In memoriam: Stephen Friedlaender, 1935-2022

For over 25 years Stephen Friedlaender gave generously of his leadership, energy, and passion for music to BCMS. He served as Vice President of BCMS’s Board of Trustees from 2005 to 2006 and then eleven years as President, starting from 2006. After stepping down from that leadership position, Steve continued as an active member of the Board to the present. BCMS patrons would recognize him welcoming everyone on stage before our concerts or see him attending various performances around the region. An architect by profession—he was a founding partner of HMFH Architects in Cambridge and well known for his design for educational and public spaces—he will be remembered by many in the music community as a good and loyal friend.

Steve once quoted von Goethe, “Music is liquid architecture; Architecture is frozen music.” He was on a mission to make the world work, to make the world work better for music, and to make the world work better with music. He was eager and more able than most to do the less visible part to make it so. His calmness, wisdom and clear mind guided BCMS through many critical junctions and subsequently made us better and stronger as an organization. In recent years, he spearheaded efforts to increase our community engagement and to open collaboration between us and Somerville High School in support of a string ensemble that welcomes students, many from underrepresented minorities and recent immigrant families, into the community of music lovers and participants. In addition to BCMS, he served as President of the Board of New England Conservatory where he was a life trustee and as President of the Board of the Harvard Musical Association, and was a trustee of several other organizations in town and other states.

Mr. Friedlaender, observing from the classroom corner beyond the drum set, on the first day of BCMS’s collaboration with Somerville High School in 2017 when the ensemble of teaching artists were introduced to the string orchestra students.

He understood and loved music, musicians, and music organizations. For our concerts he frequently brought guests, younger family members, or student mentees from the New England Conservatory. He would always make himself available to meet with musicians, staff and fellow trustees to chat and discuss anything and everything, whether at a neighborhood diner over early breakfasts or in a conference room hours after evening board meetings. He was a brilliant advisor and attentive conversationalist.

He was always unstoppable; seemingly undeterred by recent back surgery and subsequent illnesses, he came to concerts on a walker and attended BCMS Board meetings on Zoom on his way to medical appointments and from his hospital room. Plans were discussed and stretched far into the future.

We have all lost a great friend.

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2 Comments

  1. Thank you for this lovely acknowledgement of his devotion to BCMS…
    Some of my earliest memories are listening to LP’s of Stephen’s.
    When he got his first pair of big cushy headphones in the 70’s they were a treasure. He’d listen at high volume to whatever… Mahler, WCRB, and melt away for a respite.

    He’d always get up from the chair next to the ‘hi-fi’ and go back to work at the dining room table though. Usually til 1 AM, slogging through his latest school design project of the season.

    He was such a hard worker, and that never stopped. He loved working hard to promote classical music, and getting it into as many ears as possible.

    He never forgave me for taking him to a Tangerine Dream concert at the Somerville Theater in the 80’s though. I love for trying it out though.

  2. I have known and appreciated Stephen Friedlaender for many years, both at BCMS events and as an esteemed member of HMA. A beautiful conversationalist, I always enjoyed talking with him about music, politics, or any of the other areas of concern we shared. I was deeply saddened to hear of his passing, and will truly miss him. A great loss for both BCMS and HMA, as well as the greater Boston area.

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